Are the new ways better?
“Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths,
Where the good way is, and walk in it;
And you will find rest for your souls." NASV Practice Active Listening
Lately, I have had the opportunity to slow down and evaluate the paths I take and how I got where I am. What are my values and the “hills I am willing to die on” and they are getting fewer. I have discovered that many of my personal pursuits, too many of my decisions, have not been founded on solid bedrock. I believed the new way was better than the ancient paths. I have scrutinized the new ways, are they really better? I have determined many are not worth the energy to build on. Traditions have replaced solid truth and led many away from the sold ground.
Why do we look for the new ways, current technology and newest studies? Sometimes new is better and new information updates old thoughts or ideas. In our pursuits to prove our own biases we create a world of relativism, each does what is right in their own eyes. We seek answers, but are they based on truth? What is truth? Where is knowledge found? How can I acquire wisdom?
Look to the ancient ways, walk the “good path.” Not all the old and ancient ways are obsolete. our ancestors knew what was best. They had wisdom we do not. Look to the ancient wisdom, the paths of our fathers and examine the way if it is not filled with knowledge and wisdom we have forsaken for “new and better ways.”
In this age of technology we are harried to keep up with the pace. information acquisition is coming at an exponential rate. We become “experts” in fields of study and disciplines because of the vast banks of knowledge. Knowledge does not equal wisdom, though. In our anxious rush to gain more knowledge, we have sacrificed our mental, physical, and spiritual health on the alter of personal pursuits and happiness.
STOP
Take time to remember the elderly, forgotten and abandoned. There was a time we honored our elders and cherished time with them, learning the wisdom they offer. Age meant something. But, we have tossed them aside for our personal passion and dreams.
“Ask for the ancient paths… ask for the good way” there is much to gain when we slow down to ask for the good way. Every day we stand at the precipice of the future. Each decision demands we choose between the good way and “other ways”. The more we choose the other way, the old path, the good path, becomes harder to find.
Positive Motivators
- Know your standards, communicate them, and be consistent.
- Be aware of your own biases and prejudices so that others do not interfere with your evaluation and performances.
- Let people know where you stand.
- Give praise when it is due.
- Give lots of opportunity to take ownership
- Mentor, mentor, mentor.
- Keep your employees informed of changes which may affect them.
- Care about your employees.
- Perceive people as ends, not the means.
- Show genuine concern.
- Go out of your way to help.
- Take responsibility.
- Build independence.
- Be tactful.
- Give others unqualified attention.
- Exhibit personal diligence.
- Be willing to learn from mistakes of others and yourself.
- Stay flexible.
- Demonstrate confidence.
- Allow freedom of expression.
- Provide an atmosphere of learning and growth.
- Delegate, Delegate, Delegate.
- Encourage autonomy and independence.
- Be positive and encouraging.
- Be consistent.
- Be firm on your standards and goals.
- LifeCrafters Coaching & Support Services LLC
- www.lccoach.org
- david.hooker@lccoach.org
- 503-344-6348
Speaking with clarity and honesty creates space for understanding and meaningful connection.
Author, David Hooker
Timing matters. Important conversations are most productive when both partners are calm, available, and emotionally regulated. Avoid raising sensitive topics during moments of stress or exhaustion. Creating intentional space for conversations allows both partners to engage thoughtfully and respectfully.
Handle Conflict Constructively
Disagreements are normal in any relationship. Focus on addressing the issue rather than criticizing your partner. Stay curious about their perspective, take responsibility for your part, and avoid absolutes like “always” or “never.” Working as a team toward solutions strengthens resilience and mutual respect.
Show Appreciation and Affection
Positive communication isn’t just about resolving problems—it’s also about reinforcing connection. Regularly expressing gratitude, affection, and acknowledgment helps your partner feel valued. Small gestures of appreciation can soften difficult conversations and create a more supportive emotional climate.
Bringing It All Together
Improving communication takes time, patience, and practice from both partners. By listening with intention, speaking honestly, choosing the right moments, managing conflict thoughtfully, and showing appreciation, you create a stronger foundation for connection. Small, consistent changes in how you communicate can lead to deeper understanding, greater emotional safety, and a more fulfilling relationship.
