Are the new ways better?
…he who has my commandments and obeys (keeps) them, he it is who loves me, and he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love [them] and will disclose myself to [them].
John 14:21 NASB
Practice Active Listening
Christianity is the relationship of a person with the Creator of the universe. God, created humanity because He loves them, chose to create humanity for the sole purpose of companionship with them. What He asks in return is that we reciprocate that love.
There is a direct correlation between obeying Christ’s commands and His revelation of Himself to us. God is love and His entire essence being love cannot be discovered by those who are living outside of His love and commands.
If we are in Him and His Spirit has made His home in us, we should be demonstration that self-same character that is in Him. But, it is a definite choice, “and obeys them…”. Obey indicates a cognitive choice of the will.
How can we reciprocate? “…If, by the Spirit, you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For, all who are being led by the Spirit of God, These are the sons of God”. Being led by the Spirit is not an automatic existence whereby you no longer need to make choices, where the Spirit takes over direction and motivation movements and speech. Quite the opposite. It is a life where tougher decisions are being made more frequently. Having made the initial decision to love God, you now have to change you thinking to coincide with the values of the One who created you and wants to provide for you. Since you birthed into the world, you have obeyed the natural and environmental pressures and influences. These influences do not stop or dissipate. They do not die easily. The difference is that you have someone helping you make the right choices, reminding you of your high calling as a child of God. You have a rich inheritance through Christ who died on the Cross so you can be empowered to make right choices (righteousness) and be pleasing to your Heavenly Father.
It is time, is it not, to come to the One who loves you with love that is immeasurable, unconditional and endless. He loves you and calls to you, “Come all you are tired and overburdened”, come to the well that never runs dry, and drink of the life that He gives without measure.
Positive Motivators
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, The Contemplative Counselor; Fortress Press, 2011, p 64
- New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. (1995). (Jn 16:13). La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.
- Ibid, Psalm 46:10
- Nolasko, Rolph R. jr; The Contemplative Counselor; Fortress Press, 2011; p 61
- Ibid
- LifeCrafters Coaching & Support Services LLC
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Speaking with clarity and honesty creates space for understanding and meaningful connection.
Author, David Hooker
Timing matters. Important conversations are most productive when both partners are calm, available, and emotionally regulated. Avoid raising sensitive topics during moments of stress or exhaustion. Creating intentional space for conversations allows both partners to engage thoughtfully and respectfully.
Handle Conflict Constructively
Disagreements are normal in any relationship. Focus on addressing the issue rather than criticizing your partner. Stay curious about their perspective, take responsibility for your part, and avoid absolutes like “always” or “never.” Working as a team toward solutions strengthens resilience and mutual respect.
Show Appreciation and Affection
Positive communication isn’t just about resolving problems—it’s also about reinforcing connection. Regularly expressing gratitude, affection, and acknowledgment helps your partner feel valued. Small gestures of appreciation can soften difficult conversations and create a more supportive emotional climate.
Bringing It All Together
Improving communication takes time, patience, and practice from both partners. By listening with intention, speaking honestly, choosing the right moments, managing conflict thoughtfully, and showing appreciation, you create a stronger foundation for connection. Small, consistent changes in how you communicate can lead to deeper understanding, greater emotional safety, and a more fulfilling relationship.
